(no subject)

[Filter: Raezi, in Atsirian]

I think --

I think that Adrian may be dead.

I... you wouldn't believe how many names I went through before I chose yours. Karlesta... Karlesta is strange, sometimes. Heartless, almost, and I didn't know how she'd react. I thought about Felizia, but though she's your friend, I don't entirely trust her. Perhaps Lady Megan, but she and I have been on cold terms since I extorted her marriage from her. Faella hasn't written in an age, or Audreyna. I... you were really the only one.

I suppose I would have spoken to Adrian, before. He was a place where I put my weakness, see. A woman like me, she needs somewhere to store her weakness, because she can't be seen to have any. It's a burden. It's one I bear gladly, for the Holy Mothers, but it's a burden. Adrian... he was good at sharing burdens.

Was.

I think that's the first time I -- I didn't even think about it.

I think that he's dead. I think that I sent him to die, Raezi.

What...

What do I do?